The Definitive Guide to Manic Moms

Man'ic: adj. characterized by frenzy, uncontrolled by reason

Symptom: The Idea of Snacks

There are times when snacks are important, even vital – like excessively long stretches between meals for toddlers, whose stomachs are small and whose behaviour will otherwise degenerate significantly.  Or, for exceptionally tall, hungry men with low blood sugar issues.   Manic mothers have no snack discrimination and provide snacks for children way beyond the point of physical or healthy need.  The resulting continuous stream of snacks falls into two categories: first, organic and healthy (carrots, celery, whole grain crackers, no nuts) and second, incredibly unhealthy and processed (lard-slathered food store cupcakes, Cheetos and Hi-C “juice” boxes (see Worrying About Cheetos)).  The former category includes foods no child would willingly chose first if given the option.  The latter category includes foods that have been proven to kill people,  if eaten in sufficient quantities. 

The important fact to remember for our purposes, however,  is that in both cases the snacks are completely unneccesary – in the middle of a soccer game, for example. 

Because of the irrational impulse to provide snacks, manic mothers create endless opportunities for snacking:  “special” school snacks, holiday snacks, tea time snacks, sports snacks, car snacks, playground snacks.   When a manic mother can’t provide the snack herself, she is often in a position to make every other mother involved in the activity or event provide  them through The Snack Schedule

Stop and think about that.  A Snack Schedule.  A schedule is a plan.  A snack schedule is a plan to have a snack.  WHO plans snacks? If you are provided with a snack scheudule or find yourself publishing one, be on guard.


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